


those who secure their hearts won't break easily

by yutaekkong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 2nd fic ig, Friends to Lovers, Is this angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, One-sided XiaoDery, Realizations, Slow Burn, exes! kuncas, idek, tendery if u squint, uhm very long self indulgent fic, yangyang have lots of thoughts, yangyang is naive sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-11-06 12:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17939360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutaekkong/pseuds/yutaekkong
Summary: Yangyang doesn’t understand the concept of love. Is it just to show off to the people that no matter what happens, you are happy? Or, maybe, because you find someone visually attractive in the outside (like him)? The way Yukhei’s eyes sparkle whenever he talks to that tiny but aggressive Chinese boy? That little smile that spreads on Sicheng’s face whenever he talks to someone on his phone? Is it that proud face from Ten whenever he sees Kun sing on the stage? The way Hendery stares at Ten like he’s seeing everything around. Or Xiaojun’s stare at Hendery too. Yangyang is young anyways, he doesn’t have much time for that.Certainly not at all.Or maybe Yangyang is afraid of falling in love, and doesn't really know how to handle the situation.





	those who secure their hearts won't break easily

**Author's Note:**

> oh my goooooooood, i wrote this just to add in yangdery/henyang tags lol and i didnt expect it to be this long. hope you enjoy reading! and shit hehe

Yangyang doesn’t understand the concept of love. Is it just to show off to the people that no matter what happens, you are happy? Or, maybe, because you find someone visually attractive in the outside (like him)? The way Yukhei’s eyes sparkle whenever he talks to that tiny but aggressive Chinese boy? That little smile that spreads on Sicheng’s face whenever he talks to someone on his phone? Is it that proud face from Ten whenever he sees Kun sing on the stage? The way Hendery stares at Ten like he’s seeing everything around. Or Xiaojun’s stare at Hendery too.

Yangyang is young anyways, he doesn’t have much time for that.

 

Certainly not at all.

 

Kun displays a smile as tears flow in his cheeks. He rested his head on Yangyang's shoulder, and as much as the latter hates his personal space getting invaded, he hates the fact that his friends are stupidly in love with each other more, and that he has to see all of them hurt. He pats Kun, and didn't try to speak. He can't really say that everything's going to be alright, when it clearly wouldn’t be for so soon. He can't really deny that he already saw this coming, but he chooses to keep his mouth shut. The way Kun and Yukhei were busy hanging out without each other, Yangyang can see it all.

 

He never said a thing. Instead, he merely observes until everything falls apart. He finds it amusing at first, and slowly, he started to realize that love is stupid. Love is just there for them to be broken, just like the sound of plates make when the shatter into tiny pieces. Kun is only one of his friends, what about Yukhei? What does this guy feel about it? Yangyang is one of those who thinks whatever’s in front of them is the truth. He knew Yukhei loved his- or their friend too, but sometimes he just can't help but wonder, question their love itself.

 

"It'll be fine. Let's just go home?" Kun asked and Yangyang just stared at him. Behind him even without saying, Kun knows that he's worried so Kun adds, "I swear to God!" He laughs. Yangyang laughs too, and adds a question later on. "Why do you even bother to fall in love with your friends?" He shrugs. Kun doesn't respond to that. Yangyang walks home with thinking of handling things with the group of friends he has now, so he texts Ten.

 

Chittaprrrrr:

Hoes first, text later. Ya know, I just earned a date from your very best friend

 

Yangyang immediately replies to that.

Yangyang:

Y-you went to the date without Xiaojun-ge knowing? AT ALL? WHAT THE IDIOT COME HERE I'LL MAKE A PARTY FOR YOU UGH STUPID ASS

 

Chittaprrrrr:

STOOOOOP. It's just a try, Hendery's pretty popular nowadays!

 

God damn it. Yangyang thinks. He couldn't understand everything within his circle now. Why is he even thinking about solving this though? Right? He shouldn't. So with being the smart ass of the group and finding his own ways, he tries to brush those thoughts off by showering, eating and watching a movie. Take note, a horror one. However, he couldn't stand the situation. He texts his very best friend.

 

Yangyang:

YOU HAD THE AUDICITY TO ASK TEN OUT????????

 

Hendery:

Yes, don't you want it?

 

Yangyang isn't an idiot to realize that one of their friends, Xiaojun likes this stupid, soft best friend of his, hence he tries his luck to save their friendships again, hoping Hendery sees the light, and stop what he's doing. Help Kun and Yukhei move on. Help Xiaojun as well. He had thought of using the best friend card and of course, Hendery is one of those who obey him, Yangyang takes advantage of it sometimes. Not in a bad way, or MAY be in a bad way.

 

Yangyang:

You know how it is.

 

Hendery did not reply that lead to Yangyang feeling uneasy. For someone who is mischievous on the outside like him, he surely have a lot of thoughts and opinion. Yangyang should really stop doing that, pondering while tweaking his hair that will only make him groan in frustration in the end.

 

A beep sound. Yangyang opens his phone, it was a message from Ten. He's 100% that the date is going to happen. He is definitely not ready for Xiaojun to cry to him the next night, because if Hendery didn't listen to him, would Ten? He's a million times stubborn as Hendery.

Ten:

He cancelled it.

Yangyang purses his lips. He needed to thank Hendery for not letting Xiaojun be sensitive around him because he’d end up hating it.

The next weeks, things were back to normal. Yukhei started talking to Kun again, and the latter tries to communicate with Yukhei too. Yangyang just doesn't want anything to happen anymore. Therefore, he concludes that everything is back to ordinary. Kun is mature enough to save their friendship and Yukhei is trying too, he'd be afraid to lose Kun.

 

He noticed every little changes that happened within their squad. Everyone is okay, except Ten. He notices how off he is every time their circle converses. Yangyang hates awkward situations like this. He approaches Ten one time when he saw him on the open space, sitting alone, sulking. Ten isn’t like this.

 

He sits beside Ten, and offers him the orange he was holding. The words that came from Ten’s mouth surprised Yangyang.

 

“I hate fruits and I hate Kun.” Ten says, and because Yangyang isn’t good at comforting someone, he adds. “I hate Hendery’s face too.” He lets out a giggle. Ten does as well. Yangyang thinks he’s doing great so he insults their remaining friends too. “I hate Xiaojun too! Yukhei’s laugh is annoying, and your height is very annoying.”

 

“You know what, if Hendery hears that from you, he’ll cry. You know how he is.” Ten shrugs. Yangyang laughs again. “Then I’ll never be sorry.”

“He’ll probably say sorry first.”

 

A big stomp.

 

“Were you two talking about me? That’s very sad, you know.” Hendery joins them and sits beside Ten. He also waved at Yangyang, and the latter smiles back and wraps his arm around Hendery. “Bold of you to assume that we’ll be talking about your cute ass.” Yangyang replies, and made Hendery frown. He hits the younger in the arm. “Isn’t it true?” He asks the quiet Ten.

 

Ten snapped back in reality. “Yeah. Kun is still stupid, you know what, let’s just date, Hendery, and then Xiaojun, and then Yangyang, ugh! Why did you even cancel it?” He asked. Yangyang is suddenly in such a panicked situation. Hendery points at him. “Yangyang doesn’t like it, so I didn’t.”

 

Yangyang knows Ten might have weird views about it, but Ten knows he isn’t the type to do something without a reason, and he remembers Xiaojun. Ten stares at him, and back to Hendery, while frowning. “Your bestfriend is seriously possessive.” Hendery displays a smile. Yangyang needed a cover up so he agrees. “I am.” He proudly says and went beside Hendery, hugging him tightly. Ten mutters an ‘ew’ from that.

 

“I need to go,” Ten bids goodbye to them and leaves. It was just the two of them left now, and Yangyang is more comfortable with Hendery this way. He doesn’t know why, but assumes that because Hendery charms other people, he can be himself when it’s just the two of them.

 

“Look! I saw some cooking tutorial in YouTube, you think Kun should teach me?” Yangyang shows him the newest and popular Chinese dish that is also popular in Europe. Hendery agrees. “Yeah, but it’ll take you years to finally learn it, for real.” Yangyang glares at him and says, “I swear to God, you’ll be the first one to taste the best dish ever!” He proudly says, the older raises his eyebrows.

 

“So when will you do it?”

 

* * *

A month had passed, and Hendery was right. Yangyang is just too lazy to even try. Besides that, everything is still alright. Xiaojun is focusing on his studies. Kun has finally moved on and Yangyang can see that Kun isn’t really interested in falling in love. Yukhei, on the other hand, is finally dating someone again, it was that tiny Chinese boy in Yangyang’s age. Ten had some problems with his social life, and rumors are saying that his love life is having some too, but Yangyang doesn’t want to dig deeper into that anymore.

 

“Holy craaaap!” Yangyang shouts on the top of his lungs, he had finally won on his game. He expected everyone was focusing on him. Everyone was busy with their own thing. Yukhei is texting, Xiaojun is composing on his phone, Ten’s on his earphones while dancing, Kun’s just on the corner watching Ten while smiling. Sicheng’s on the phone with someone too.

 

Hendery, who was his only best friend ever, grins at him. “You’re too noisy, be quiet.” He hushes the younger, and the younger just clicks his tongue. He’s Yangyang and he never really shuts up. “I finally won! I mean-” he was cut off. “Want me to order chicken for you?” Sicheng suddenly asks, sarcasm obvious in his voice. Hendery scolded Sicheng. “Don’t be so mean!”

 

“So, want a chicken?” Hendery smirks, and Yangyang aims to punch him. Only Hendery gets to tease Yangyang like that anyway. Yangyang nods, but he is still offended. “Seriously?” He held Hendery’s hands and drags him to the nearest chicken store, with Hendery counting his money on his pocket.

 

He is very thankful of Hendery.

 

Reward him, even if you’re against it. He doesn’t understand the concept of bestfriends falling in love, but for his own friends, he’ll take a risk. He doesn’t want it to end like Kun and Yukhei too, but as his mom says, there’s nothing wrong with trying.

 

“What do you say, I set you up with Ten?” Yangyang asks, and Hendery looks at him with a smile on his face, his eyes were also smiling. “Really?”

 

And because Yangyang is indecisive, he shrugs. “Nope.”

 

Hendery grimaced at that. Yangyang beams. Isn’t he the best friend of the year?

 

He told Kun about his plans right after, and didn’t exactly understand why Kun was so mad about it. They were talking over the phone and he was very excited to tell Kun about his plans on the operation: Tendery. It ended up not being good instead.

 

“Can’t. What about Xiaojun?” Kun asks, and Yangyang got his point. He was like that too, but he can risk it for now. “I’m sure he won’t mind- I mean, he’s busy. Let Hendery be happy okay? For once?” He pled. Kun, on the other phone, just sighs. Yangyang couldn’t understand why Kun wasn’t letting this happen. “You and Yukhei ended up dating before too, what now?” He adds, and Kun snaps at him.

 

“That’s what I mean! I don’t want them to end up like that!” Kun says.

 

“If you know what will happen, why bother falling in love?” Yangyang argues. Kun must have other reasons.

 

“It’s just- I like Ten.” Kun admits and Yangyang cursed in his head. Why didn’t he notice those stares Kun give to Ten? Those small smiles they give. He remembers Yukhei. “It’s just the same, okay? I liked Yukhei, and he likes Renjun now. It isn’t bad to fall in love with your friend, the thing you can do is.” Kun talked carefully, choosing words that is appropriate for the naïve Yangyang.

 

Yangyang doesn’t understand. “People are selfish, Yang.” He hung up, and Yangyang was left thinking that maybe he doesn’t really know his friends. Maybe he doesn’t really know what Ten thinks, what Hendery thinks. He thought that the two had a choice, especially Hendery. He shouldn’t just mind Xiaojun’s feelings.

 

Kun couldn’t stop him.

 

“Hendery says he can’t do this date thingy. He isn’t the person who dates, and I understand.” Ten explains while they were walking, the first date had ended and it didn’t go well. Yangyang was worried again, maybe he should’ve listened to Kun. He doesn’t speak though, he realizes it’s better not to. He was afraid of hurting Ten’s feelings, just for the reason he wanted Hendery to be happy. He can see that Ten likes his best friend.

 

“I’m okay though,” Ten says, and Yangyang was genuinely surprised. Ten stares at Yangyang for a while, then adds. “It’s not like I like him or anything.” And if Yangyang was surprised earlier, he was even more now. Ten doesn’t? But then again, he can just deny about it so no one worries. That’s Ten though. He needs to kill his curiosity so he asks. “What about? I saw how you two- how you look at him, he obviously likes you too!”

 

Ten chuckles at him. “You clearly have no experience in dating.” He said, and Yangyang got confused. He doesn’t understand, he really doesn’t. He tries. There were rumors about Ten’s love life though. Hendery?

 

“I thought it was obvious that I like Kun,” he chuckles.

 

“I was just being too naïve.” Yangyang says.

 

He could see Hendery walking in their direction, and Ten noticed Hendery too. Yangyang realized that it’s just how a friend looks at a friend. “Yeah, you are.” Ten said and smirked at Yangyang. Then he adds, “Wanna come to Kun’s show later? You know, his band!” Yangyang just nods.

 

“He’ll come? I’ll go too!” Hendery exclaimed.

 

Ten just smiled at the both of them.

 

Yangyang thinks that maybe he doesn’t really know anything about the world and how it goes.

 

The music was very loud and to say that Yangyang is enjoying would be an understatement. Kun and Xiaojun’s voices are really good that it saved the whole nation from bankruptcy. When their segment is done, Yangyang got bored and went outside to see Yukhei sitting alone while looking at the stars. Dramatic, he thinks. He knows Yukhei enough that he knows that the boy was thinking about Renjun.

 

He sits beside the tall boy, and he knew Yukhei would pester him. “You know, the stars are very beautiful tonight.” He smiles at the younger. “Especially the moon.” He adds.

 

“It’s just a circle thing that goes 3.8 cm far every year, and once it’s gone, people would forget about it.” Yangyang says, dramatically. This is what he gets from hanging with Xiaojun too much. Yukhei didn’t get mad though, he just smiled even more. “When you don’t know anything about something, you’ll get curious.” He said while looking at Yangyang. Yangyang raises his eyebrows.

 

“Would you like to come with me? I’ll pick Renjun up, I think it’s Kun and Xiaojun’s turn to sing again, and he’s done for the night.” Yukhei says. He stopped on his tracks, oh. “Let’s go back inside, because it’s cold.” He scratches his head, and Yangyang rolls his eyes. “You don’t want me to thirdwheel you here, don’t you?” He chuckles and Yukhei replies him with a maybe.

 

They walked inside, and saw Kun on the stage, shining so brightly while singing, and Yangyang is very proud of his friend there. He looks at Yukhei in an instant, and he hears Yukhei mumble. “Sometimes I wish we were still together, but naaaah. I got Renjun now.” He said, and Yangyang felt bad about that. He sits beside Hendery after Yukhei says goodbye.

 

A drunk, stupid friend of his comes to the stage though. “Kun, love you!” He said and kisses the older’s cheeks. Yangyang feels embarrassed for Ten, and he really wanted to get out of the scene right now. Kun just smiles and leads him down. “I’m sorry, duuuuude I just love you so much don’t bro-zone meeee.” Ten says while kissing Kun again, with Hendery supporting Ten on the other side too.

 

“You’re drunk.” Kun says while carrying Ten outside. Deep inside, Yangyang knows that Kun is happy now, finally. Again.

 

Oh, people and falling in love.

 

Xiaojun on the other hand, offered to send Ten home, with Kun and the people were disappointed to let the two vocalists go. Yangyang looks for Hendery helplessly and the latter understood it. Hendery went up on the stage and a random upbeat song played. He danced to the rhythm, earning an applause from the audience. Yangyang was speechless and joined the audience by clapping.

The next song played and Yangyang was even more interested in watching his bestfriend. Hendery was dancing passionately there and when he was rolling his body, which was the highlight of the dance, he stared at Yangyang. It sent chills on Yangyang’s spine. The performance finished, and once again, he stares. Yangyang actually never felt that before. Never even had someone attract him like Hendery earlier.

 

Except that he thinks that it’s just a one time thing, so he clapped his hands, looking so unaffected while Hendery smiles at him. Suddenly, Hendery grabs the microphone and speaks.

 

“Come on, how about my bestfriend rap for everyone?” Hendery says while staring at him. The audience cheered for him. Yangyang felt touched about it. Hendery remembered about his passion. He actually knew how passionate Yangyang is when it comes to rapping, it was a side dream of his besides his famous dream to be a racer. Hendery lends his hands and Yangyang had never been so happy to go there.

 

He was nervous, on the crowd, he sees that a lot of people are watching and anticipating it. He found strength in his bestfriend though. Hendery looks at him and says, “You can do it.” He whispers and the beatboxing had started. Yangyang rapped after.

 

“Thank you,” Yangyang says while they were walking home. “You surprised me though.” He adds. Hendery just smiles, and when did Yangyang start to find that smile so attractive?

 

Then he thinks, he remembers the moon. It isn’t that attractive, and people would just forget about it when it’s so far away, years from now. So like how Yukhei adores the moon, Yangyang thinks that this attractiveness he’s feeling is just a one time thing.

 

“They seem to like your rapping,” Hendery says. “Continue it.”

 

Yangyang couldn’t sleep much after that night.

 

The semester break had started, it means more bonding with his friends. He had forgotten about it, but Sicheng remembered. For the first time, Sicheng is joining them on a trip. He was actually happy that they are complete. Again, he asks nothing more.

 

“Chips, complete, yoohooo!” Ten cheers, and sat on the driver’s seat beside Xiaojun who was dramatically looking at the window while on his earphones. Sicheng on the middle side, reading a book. Beside him, there’s Kun and Yukhei, with the latter lying down on Kun’s lap. Yangyang stares at Ten. Ten doesn’t seem to mind though, Yangyang thought it would be an issue. There were seats left at the very back of the car, and Yangyang occupied it alone.

 

“A sleep!” He cheers too. Suddenly, everyone laughed when Hendery enters. “You thought!” Xiaojun shouts. “Nice, I only want Yangyang beside me.” Hendery says and everyone became quiet after that, especially Xiaojun. “I would think you two were a couple if I’m gonna be honest,” Sicheng tried to break the silence but no one dared to reply.

 

They entered the resthouse and the view was breathtakingly beautiful. It was very cold due to the wind and Yangyang for once, thinks that the world is beautiful. Thanks to Yukhei. He was interrupted with Sicheng when he entered the balcony. Looking also from the terrace. “The world is actually beautiful.” Sicheng says.

 

Yangyang nods. “It is. The fuck, I always think that the trees are just, ugh, annoying and infrastractures are much better but,” he stopped when he felt that Sicheng had this smile on his face, that he wasn’t actually thinking about the natural beauty that the world had.

 

“I guess you could say that.” Sicheng says. “The people around you though. That’s what I mean.”

 

“So what do you mean?”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, I thought everyone of you are very scary. When I went back to China from Korea, you were nothing like my friends there. I thought they were all beautiful, and you all are just, dull. I was wrong though.” Sicheng says. Yangyang just listens as careful words come out from Sicheng’s mouth.

 

“As soon as we hang out though, I saw everyone’s beauty. I always see Xiaojun’s passion in pursuing Music, Kun too. Ten in dancing,” he chuckles. “Yukhei and dumbass in one sentence. You are beautiful as well. But have you seen Hendery? That guy should be the most beautiful to you. He’s nice, inside and out.”

 

Hendery is, inside and out, beautiful. Yangyang is scared to admit that, but in every aspect, Sicheng is right. He doesn’t overthink this time, that maybe Sicheng thinks that because like Xiaojun, Sicheng likes Hendery too. He learned from Ten, that he simply appreciates Hendery’s beauty, and it’s the time that Yangyang would too.

 

Yangyang agrees and smiles. “I would say I’m beautiful.”

 

Sicheng stares at him. “But he is, the most.” Yangyang adds. Yangyang could only smile as Sicheng replies with, “That’s what I thought.”

 

He roomed with Xiaojun and as expected, he talked about how he admires Hendery too. The only thing is, Yangyang knows all about it already. He is Hendery’s bestfriend and he knows all about him. He only doesn’t know when he started to notice Hendery, like he was part of his observation about love and he doesn’t even like talking about it. He doesn’t hate it, but he doesn’t like where this is going.

 

Didn’t he say he has no time for that?

 

It was time for dinner, and Yangyang doesn’t feel like going out at all. He just lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He tries to focus on the beauty of nature again. The ceiling fan is beautiful, the trees are too, but nothing is really more beautiful than this one stupid thing.

 

“Yangyang?” He hears that familiar voice again. Hendery entered the room and checked on his best friend. “Are you alright?” He brought variety of foods, sat down on Yangyang’s bed. Yangyang thinks that Hendery should stop being so nice. To everyone.

 

His thoughts were cut again, right, like Ten and Sicheng, he just appreciates Hendery’s beauty. He’s not Xiaojun, he doesn’t appreciate Hendery that way.

 

“Nice, bro.” Yangyang never used bro terms to Hendery before, and the latter widened his eyes. “I was so hungry and you know me,”

 

“Lazy again?” Hendery asks. Yangyang nodded. This was so like them. This is how they should be, like the usual. Hendery opened a bag of chips and gives it to Yangyang.

 

“I know it’s bad not to eat a full course right now, but I know how stubborn you are,” Hendery shrugs and Yangyang just laughs at that, the older knows him so much that it’s starting to get scary. “Enjoy, I guess.” Yangyang laughs.

 

They ate in silence, in the most comfortable silence, and Yangyang, again, likes it this way. Nothing much to think, Hendery too. Hendery opened the television and lies beside Yangyang after eating. They were actually enjoying the show until it just ended, and they had nothing to do anymore. Hendery seemed like he wants to say something but was hesitant so Yangyang did it for him.

 

“What is it?” He asks, while staring at his bestfriend, and had his mind wonder again on how cool Hendery’s eyes were.

“I’m just wondering if you.” Hendery pauses, and the younger thinks that since he knows almost everything about Hendery, he feels like he doesn’t want to hear anything anymore. He avoids the older’s gaze.

“What’s your opinion on Kun and Lucas’ situation?” Hendery diverts Yangyang’s attention again. What about them? They’re friends.

Yangyang snorts. “What’s with the random dramatic question?” He rolls his eyes and covers himself with a blanket, and covers Hendery after. Hendery didn’t say anything after, and Yangyang feels stupid all of a sudden. When someone asks you a question, answer it. It felt hard for Yangyang since his voice shake while speaking.

“I don’t know, honestly.” Yangyang speaks again. He takes a glance at Hendery to make sure the latter is listening. “Isn’t it awkward? Suddenly Kun’s with Ten. Lucas doesn’t seem to be affected but for the all of us.” Hendery seems interested and Yangyang continues, “I don’t want to do that.”

Hendery hums. “I guess I won’t do it either.”

Yangyang heard a heart shattering into pieces.

 

The next morning, in the breakfast, they were sitting across the tables. Awkwardness and tension were obvious in the air and Yangyang doesn’t know where it came from. Xiaojun saw both of them lying in Yangyang’s bed last night. Lucas, Ten and Kun doesn’t seem to be in a comfortable situation either. They all stared at Sicheng who was normally eating, except Hendery and Yangyang who first gave each other a what-happened look, and they felt awkward right after.

“We need to go home immediately,” Xiaojun starts, breaking the ice.

“You can go around for the last time though,” Kun said. “It’s just a shame that some people had to ruin it.” He adds while looking at Ten and Lucas. Sicheng just whispers at Yangyang right after.

“Don’t worry about them. Worry about you three. You look like you’ll need to leave soon.” Sicheng laughs and Yangyang awkwardly laughs after him. Hendery stared at them both.

 

Yangyang doesn’t know why but when Xiaojun asked Hendery if they want to walk together, he went with them. He’s now contemplating his life decisions because as they walked, Xiaojun held his bestfriend’s hand while smiling and he can see Hendery’s eyes widen. He smiled after, though.

“Cheesy, why did I even go with you?” Yangyang rolls his eyes, and he suddenly feels sorry for himself, he jokingly threw up in front of them. He laughs at the two’s reaction though.

“Jesus Christ, you scared us.”

“You scared me both.” Yangyang fights back. He clears his throat, as he speak again. “It was a wrong choice, you need to talk. Bye.” He waves his hands, and looking at both Xiaojun and Hendery’s eyes, he doesn’t feel like going again.

They need to talk though, and because Yangyang is a brat, he listens.

Xiaojun faced Hendery and told him to sit on the sand while facing the sun and Hendery listens, sitting there while intertwining his hands with Xiaojun. Yangyang is suddenly curious what they were talking about, but he couldn’t hear due to the wind breeze and sea air.

He slowly walks near them, he somehow felt grateful for the noise that the waves of the sea makes.

“You know about it right?” Xiaojun asks. Hendery slowly nods and Yangyang gasps at that. Is this about Xiaojun’s feelings? What are they talking about? Yangyang has a gut feeling about Hendery not feeling the same, watching the way his eyes shake from nervousness.

“I’m sorry if I actually creep you or anything, I didn’t really mean to.” Xiaojun covers his face, obviously flustered and embarrassed at the situation, and Hendery just stares at him. He later snakes his arms on Xiaojun’s shoulder.

“No harm, but you know we’re still friends. Right?” Hendery asks and Xiaojun nods before hugging him back, and when they break apart, Hendery gives him a reassuring smile. That little sweet smile that Yangyang always liked.

“Stop smiling at me, idiot. I might fall in love more.” Xiaojun whispers and Hendery let out a little laugh. Xiaojun speaks again. “That’s why I like you, I can’t explain the reason why but it’s always there. I didn’t know you attracted me suddenly. Until I just noticed how kind you are, sometimes I think you like me too, but the way you look at him, it’s different.” Xiaojun said, and Yangyang felt bad for him.

If he puts himself in Xiaojun’s shoes, even if he thinks that he’s much stronger, he knows he would cry.

“You’re always way too nice to others. I see how different is being nice and being nice with falling in love,” Xiaojun pats Hendery’s back.

Yangyang thinks about Xiaojun’s words. He remembers someone who’s exactly like Xiaojun and he closes his eyes, trying to brush it off but it’s non sense. He just thinks of it again, that like Xiaojun, he’s whipped. He admits it now to himself, but can’t really admit it to others.

“Yangyang likes you too, if you’re that anxious.” Xiaojun smiles sweetly.

Yangyang pauses.

How can Xiaojun assume that without Yangyang confessing?

“Be careful though, he’s oblivious as a rock. Need to break it with Thor’s hammer or something.” Xiaojun laughs and Hendery nervously stares at him.

“You think he likes me too?” Yangyang can see the glow on Hendery’s eyes.

He tries to hold his tears back from happiness but he ended up gasping and little tears form in his eyes. He quickly wiped it when he saw Xiaojun look at him, and he noticed that Xiaojun had started crying due to emotions.

Hendery quickly wiped it, and Xiaojun didn’t stop looking at Yangyang, making Hendery stare at him too.

He feels overwhelmed, and he feels bad, yet he’s happy. He doesn’t know how to deal with the situation again.

He runs.

 

“Give it a chance.” Is all what Ten says after Yangyang explained the whole story. Yangyang sips on his coffee and just stared at the stars from the window.

“Isn’t the moon so beautiful?” Yangyang says all of a sudden and Ten looks at him with disgust.

“Uh, why are you so weird again?” Ten says.

Yangyang laughs. Ten might think that it’s a cheesy thing to say, and Yangyang thinks the same before, finding everything so weird.

Ten might think it’s a one time thing, and it’s forgotten after everything drifts apart but he’ll change it. Yangyang’s sure of that.

“I think I’ll give it a chance.” Yangyang smiles at Ten.

 

Another reason that made Yangyang believe that every person deserves a chance is when he talked to Yukhei once again. The thing that made Yangyang think deeply about Yukhei’s words is that Yukhei may seem not serious about it, but it hits Yangyang everytime.

“I do think Kun resembles the moon.” Yukhei says and Yangyang looks at him again.

“But.”

“Renjun just got back with his boyfriend.” Yukhei smiles at the moon again.

“Did you know why I ended up fake dating Renjun?”

Yangyang shifts on his seat.

“Fake date? Are you fucking insane?” Yangyang gasps and Yukhei just shrugs.

“Yeah. It was stupid, but I can’t believe that Kun broke up with me, and Renjun ended up asking me if we can fake date, and yeah, it actually didn’t work. He loves Ten and I have to stop it.” Yukhei continues. Yangyang just pats his back for comfort.

He wants to be straight honest with Yukhei, he knows Yukhei doesn’t have a chance, so he stays still and comforts his friend.

“You’ll be fine, yeah.”

“The moon resembles him. I was so happy that night when I thought he was so sad about me hanging out with Renjun too much, I was stupid to not think that he was annoyed because Ten randomly made out with someone again.”

Yangyang will always have a hard time on knowing a person’s feelings.

“The moon’s light comes from the sun.” Yangyang starts. “Maybe you just have to find that sun.” He adds, and Yukhei puckers his lips.

Yangyang knows what Yukhei’s thoughts are, and he believes that everyone deserves a chance in life.

He thinks that is what he should give Hendery.

 

He knocks on Hendery’s room and for the first time. He doesn’t feel any weight on his shoulders as he approaches him, but a breaking of glass stopped him from doing so.

“Yukhei! What bullshit are you talking about now?” He hears Ten yelling.

The door opened and Hendery came out walking hand in hand with Yangyang.

“What’s happening?” Yangyang asks, obviously confused.

“Why don’t you ask about Yukhei not moving on from my boyfriend?” Ten replies, annoyance obvious in his voice. Kun looks at Sicheng helplessly but Yukhei just gave a smirk on Ten.

“Kun’s not going to leave you.” Hendery tried to calm Ten down.

“How do you even say that? We dated right after they broke up, who knows what will happen?” Ten is stopped by a loud hit in the table.

“Is that what you think of me, why are you like this? You’re acting like we were not friends before we were boyfriends!” Kun yelled and Yangyang got startled at the older snapping. Ten’s eyes widen too, but pride still took over him.

“I trust you, but I don’t trust him!” He pointed at Yukhei.

“If you trust me, you wouldn’t think I’ll go back to him!” Kun fought back.

“I’ve loved you even before he liked you, and now how am I supposed to be confident when you loved him first?” Ten snapped, then walked behind all of them, pulls his suitcase out but he was pulled by Kun.

Yangyang thought about Ten’s words as he compares the situation. He doesn’t want to be Yukhei and all the courage that he had built was crushed. He thinks that it’s not the time to think about his situation.

“If you’re gonna be stubborn, let’s break up.” Kun declares, Ten looked at him. He smiled bitterly.

“See how easy you can say it. Sure, goodbye.” Ten shakes his head and pushed Kun’s hand away.

Yukhei looks down as Ten leaves the house, feeling guilty as ever.

“What actually happened? That morning in the table?” Yangyang asked again.

“Yukhei drunk kissed Kun, obviously, and earlier he just confessed about the fake date, which you probably know, if I may add?” Sicheng sits on the sofa. Yukhei bit his lips and his lips tremble as he speak.

“I’m sorry, Kun. I didn’t really want to ruin anything and…”

“Forget it, let’s go home.” Kun gave everyone a smile.

Kun didn’t cry this time and it hurts more, Yangyang thinks.

 

The trip going home without Ten is not really fine, everyone was awfully quiet. Besides the breakup, Xiaojun, and Yangyang were awkward right now at the back, with Hendery at the middle of them.

“Can I sleep on your shoulder?” Hendery asks, but actually looking at the front, obviously sleepy.

“Yeah.” Xiaojun answers, letting Hendery’s head lay there.

Yangyang awkwardly stares at the window for 30 minutes until he felt Hendery’s head now on his shoulders, and wrapping his arms around Yangyang. Xiaojun gives him a sweet smile.

“He’s always been comfortable with you.” He starts, and everyone else’s attention is now on them three. Yangyang just nods.

His thoughts are on giving everything a chance or breaking it at the first time.

“Please give us a chance.” He hears Hendery mumble.

He looks at Xiaojun, thought about Kun, Ten and Yukhei’s situation.

 

Not now, not now.

 

* * *

Everything was normal for Sicheng, Xiaojun, Hendery and Yangyang. Sicheng and Xiaojun went busy as the semester starts again. Hendery and Yangyang hangs out a lot again, but do not talk about their feelings.

“What do you think about the moon?” Yangyang asks when the movie was focusing on the beauty of the moon.

“Nothing special. Its light just comes from the sun.” Hendery replied while munching on his chips. His focus was on Hendery’s answer.

Wrong.

“Even the new moon is pretty.” Yangyang says, as a matter of fact. Hendery grabs the remote and stops the movie.

“This is what you get from being with Xiaojun!” Hendery hits him with a pillow, and Yangyang playfully hits him back.

“It’s true, stupid.”

“Whatever you say.”

Hendery rolls his eyes. He laughs.

“What are you up to?” Hendery raises an eyebrow. Yangyang whines at that.

“I just think you don’t need the sun for the moon to be beautiful. It’s beautiful even if it does or doesn’t have the light from the sun.” Yangyang argues and Hendery can sense that Yangyang is talking seriously.

“What? I’m pretty sure the moon’s only pretty when there is light.” Hendery states, and Yangyang smirks at him.

Deep inside, he knows he’s talking about something else.

 

They walk at the campus together again and Yangyang couldn’t really think of anything else when he is with his bestfriend. Time just flies and Yangyang doesn’t understand how can he be so comfortable when things has changed.

“Wanna get some ice cream?” Hendery asks and suddenly holds his hand. Yangyang nods, he doesn’t even understand, once again, why he doesn’t feel awkward at all, it’s just that he feels something different.

He knows he’s getting used to it and he’s not even complaining.

“Hey?” Hendery waves at him.

“Oh.” Yangyang snaps back into reality. They entered the ice cream and Hendery orders for them. Yangyang finds a seat for them and found a table for two. Hendery comes back with one cup and Yangyang rolls his eyes at him.

“You didn’t get me one!” Yangyang complains.

“I’m broke.” Hendery says and Yangyang jokingly frowns at him. Hendery rolls his eyes as they proceed on eating. Yangyang really loves this, when he doesn’t over think much about things. Later, Hendery just gave Yangyang a small smile as he gives up the ice cream.

“You can have it.” Hendery hands Yangyang the spoon.

“You’re just giving me when it’s the last bite!” Yangyang grunts.

“You love me though.” Hendery laughs at that, and Yangyang is obviously getting annoyed.

“It’s true, now let me eat in peace!” Yangyang says and Hendery’s eyes widen at that, shuts up and lets Yangyang eat.

When Yangyang was finished eating, Hendery starts to speak again.

“How’s Kun?” He asks and Yangyang shrugs while looking up at the ceiling. About Kun, he never saw Ten and Yukhei be with him. It’s always him and Sicheng together.

“He’s not used to not having Ten by his side.” Yangyang sips on the cold water. Hendery raises his eyebrows and holds Yangyang’s hands again, as if to give the younger the strength to continue as he squeeze it. The action made Yangyang flustered.

“Sicheng told me he’s gonna bring Ten to Korea, to meet his friends.” Yangyang says.

“Yukhei seems to be feeling guilty until now, and Ten, he’s back.” Hendery says and Yangyang nods.

“Yeah, don’t wanna be like them though.”

Yangyang didn’t miss the frown on Hendery’s face.

 

“You’re so stupid to think you’re falling out of love.” Xiaojun says while typing on his computer. Yangyang shrugs and jumps on Xiaojun’s bed. The older doesn’t say anything after so Yangyang frowns.

“I don’t know, I just seem to normalize the situation.” Yangyang replies.

Xiaojun closes his laptop, turns around and looks at Yangyang.

“No, you like him. You’re just scared that the situation of Kun happen to us three, you try to brush everything off when you start to falling deeper.” Yangyang isn’t convinced, and Xiaojun pushed his chair towards the younger.

“We’re a lot different from Kun, Ten and Yukhei. Remember that.”

“I’m over him now.” Xiaojun adds, smiles to Yangyang and taps Yangyang’s foot.

Yangyang stopped jumping and is convinced for the Kun situation, but he isn’t exactly convinced on the other statement. Xiaojun raises his right hand and swears him a promise, and Yangyang doesn’t really know whether to believe that or not.

So he didn’t.

 

“Yangyang!” He hears Hendery shout when he got stuck with Yangyang’s classmates who keeps on running just to go home, and Yangyang walks quickly near him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Congratulations on finishing your tests!” Hendery snakes his arms on Yangyang’s shoulder, and Yangyang just smiles back at him. “FINALLY!” He shouts.

“Want to watch a movie?” Hendery suggests and Yangyang feels that he needs to distance himself from the older so he shakes his head.

“I’m gonna head home. Xiaojun’s gonna like the movie though!” Yangyang says cheerfully and proceeds to run away.

 

The next time Hendery calls him, he looked immediately and saw the older with a bag of his favorite chips. “I brought your favorite chips, thought you’ll like it.” Hendery gives it to him but Yangyang refuses to take the temptation.

“I’m on a diet.”

 

The third and last time they talked is when Hendery calls him on the phone, and of course he answers.

“I have a gift for you.” Hendery starts and Yangyang already feels his heart aching at the sweet voice of Hendery so he closes his eyes, trying to control his feelings.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t go right now-“

“Yeah, I get it.” Hendery says and Yangyang got scared on the tone of his voice.

“I, nevermind. I hope you’re doing well.” He adds, and Yangyang hangs up on him.

 

Yangyang successfully avoided everyone and grew closer to Ten again, who just came back from a break. He managed to not open any social media form and not to make any conversation with Hendery even if his feet always seem to want and go to Hendery.

He still checks them out, though. He never saw Xiaojun and Hendery together either, as they were separated by Sicheng and Kun. Kun with Xiaojun and Hendery with Sicheng. Yangyang with Ten.

“Idiot, do you feel proud on what you just did?” Ten asks while fixing his notes. Yangyang shakes his head.

“I miss them, I miss him.” Yangyang says and Ten whispers. “Oh boy, he’s whipped.”

Yangyang rolls his eyes.

“Was your assumption right?” Ten asked and Yangyang once again, shakes his head. “Did you actually fall out of love?” He adds and Yangyang shakes his head again, miserably. “No.” He answers.

“Hmm. We’re the same who thinks what we do is right and fair. We may be right but it’s not fair to the one we love. Have you seen Hendery smile again after you avoided him?” Ten says and Yangyang shakes his head. He doesn’t know, thinks that he is selfish. Kun says people are selfish. Although, his mind reasons that it’s just that he wants to save everyone, and himself.

Yangyang changes the topic.

“How’s Kun?” Yangyang asks.

Ten’s eyes widen in surprise but he looks at the ground right after. “It’s hard to say that I’m not in love with him anymore but…I’m trying to live without him.” He smiles.

“Then I can do it too, right?” Yangyang’s eyes lit from hope.

“If you can find someone better than Hendery like how I am right now.” Ten chuckles.

 

He talked to Sicheng next. “It feels like everyone ghosted on each other.” He starts, and Sicheng nods. He shuffles his playlist and it chose a random Chinese song. Sicheng smiles at him and covers his own mouth to stop himself from speaking.

“Yeah, you were the number 1 in ghosting.” Sicheng adds. Yangyang fights the urge to ask Sicheng out and Sicheng notices that and proceeds to speak.

“He’s not doing great. He misses you.”

Yangyang smiles at that. It’s a great feeling knowing someone’s missing him.

“Talk to him, you know.” Yangyang nods, and proceeds to ask Sicheng.

“Who is Ten’s new hoe right now?”

Sicheng chuckles. “Johnny Seo from Korea. He’s my friend, my boyfriend’s best friend to be exact.”

“You have a boyfriend?” Yangyang almost chokes.

Sicheng nods. “This is what you get from ghosting us. I’ll tell you later though.”

“We need to talk about Hendery, he felt miserable without you. Even if you don’t want to be with him, he’s your bestfriend. Atleast act like one.”

Sicheng doesn’t talk much and Yangyang appreciates the help that Sicheng wants to offer him so he listens as the older gave him advice.

Yangyang needs to control everything around him. He still doesn’t know how to, and when he felt that he is gradually learning, it suddenly went back to 0.

He only fell in love, he still doesn’t know how to handle with it.

“I’m the one with Hendery most of the time, you know.” Kun joins them and Yangyang knows that he’s in for a long ass advice from the older.

“Can’t help it but to say Sicheng’s right. Having feelings with your best friend doesn’t give you a reason to ghost on them.” Kun held Yangyang’s hand gently. “Ten didn’t even ghost on me when he had it. He waited.”

“It’s a different case.” Sicheng rolls his eyes at Kun.

Yangyang chuckles at that. “Yeah, and are you speaking on Hendery’s behalf?” he asks and Kun shakes his head. “It’s a different case, he’s in love with you too, Ten’s not scared to be with me and you are. Totally different.”

Sicheng hums in agreement. “So don’t compare.”

They drifted apart because of feelings so how can they say it’s all right to be with Hendery?

“I know what you’re thinking but,” Kun stops. “I’m telling you that we’re different.”

 

Differences. Yangyang chuckles at that.

 

* * *

When he gets a text from Sicheng, he immediately runs.

Sicheng:

Come pick me up in here. I’ll send you the address. Help me.

A few minutes later he received it, he runs to get the nearest taxi and meets Sicheng on the park.

Except that Sicheng isn’t there.

Hendery is.

“Until when are you going to ignore me?” Hendery starts and Yangyang feels like he’s going to break soon, he hates that he is extremely fragile about the situation.

“I, what are you doing here?” He starts with that line again.

When Hendery didn’t speak, he raises his eyebrow at him. He tried to cover his nervousness with pride. “Sicheng told me to meet here.” He adds and Hendery’s face remained blank.

“I didn’t ask you to come!” Yangyang argues. Hendery raises his eyebrows this time, and Yangyang feels like he’ll explode from the mix of emotions he’s feeling right now.

No one talked after and they just stared at each other. Hendery then started to drift away, walking past Yangyang and the latter had no choice but to pull him back. He wanted to be normal again, and being normal means spending hours with Hendery 24/7. He inhales deeply and started talking again.

“I’m sorry, things had to happen suddenly.” Yangyang doesn’t even have to explain what he’s talking about because Hendery knows what it is.

“I feel miserable and I had to ghost on everyone except Ten. Well, ghost on you to be exact.” Yangyang tries to explain and looks at Hendery helplessly. Hendery still doesn’t speak and Yangyang touches his forehead.

“I’m sorry.” He said, finally.

Hendery nods and hugs him. “I’m sorry too.”

Yangyang can feel the other’s heartbeat. “For what?”

“For catching these feelings. I was impatient about you, I knew that you felt like this and you don’t want to rush things out and,” Yangyang never felt that Hendery’s being impatient, in fact he thinks he’s patient enough. He didn’t talk to Yangyang despite knowing about it.

“Hmm?” Yangyang breaks the hug.

“Please give us a chance, if it’s not right now, it’s alright, but please tell me you’re willing to give me that.” Hendery smiled.

Yangyang isn’t sure yet but he nods anyways, not wanting to hurt Hendery.

“For now, let’s be bestfriends?” He asks and Hendery’s more than willing to give him that.

“I missed you. So, so much.” Yangyang adds and smiles at him.

Hendery couldn’t help but to smile at that as they walked back to home. They were walking and Hendery stopped on his tracks, making Yangyang stop too.

“Can you say you like me right now or not?” He asks and Yangyang has the urge to choke him right now. Hendery knows that Yangyang can’t and he wanted to make fun of it.

“Oh God.” Yangyang mumbles and Hendery laughs out loud at that.

This is what they should be, Yangyang thinks. Being normal out of their circle, and doesn’t think so much.

 

“You heard? Yukhei asked Kun again,” Xiaojun starts gossiping while biting his sandwich. Yangyang and Hendery looked at each other and looks back at Xiaojun with wide eyes.

“You gotta be kidding us?” Yangyang asks and Hendery doesn’t speak, but curious and he intensely stared at Xiaojun.

“Jesus, you both look like murderers right now.” Xiaojun laughs at them, making the both of them hit the eldest.

Yukhei suddenly appears in front of the table and tries to scare Yangyang with a fake spider. Hendery and Xiaojun screams and Yangyang just stared at Yukhei with a blank face.

“Give a warning, fucker.” Xiaojun gives Yukhei a middle finger.

“Who would prank and give a warning?” Yukhei shakes his head and Xiaojun glares at him. Yangyang and Hendery follows.

Yukhei shifts in his seat. “Okay, sorry.” He chuckles.

Xiaojun passed Yukhei another sandwich made by his roommate and Yukhei starts eating too soon.

“For someone who gyms a lot, Wong Yukhei.” Hendery said. “Be careful.” He adds.

“I’m always hungry, give me chocolate, what’s the name?”

“That’s not important right now, tell us about Kun.” Yangyang said. Yukhei chokes on his sandwich and he laughs.

“That’s not true!” Yukhei defends. Yangyang smirks at him.

“Your moon, moon my ass.” Yangyang teases. Yukhei stares at him with wide eyes. Hendery and Xiaojun laughs as Yangyang and Yukhei bicker. They all became silent after Kun came.

“You’re trying to deny me now?” Kun raises an eyebrow and Yukhei fell silent at that. Xiaojun, Hendery and Yangyang laughs at that. Yukhei looks like a lost puppy.

“No, I thought you don’t want Ten to hear?” Yukhei looked like a lost puppy and all of them found it so adorable.

“What? That these two exes are together again?” Ten joins in and wraps his arms around Yukhei’s shoulder. Yukhei defends. “No, we’re not together yet.”

Kun glares at him. “Seriously.”

They all giggled and let Kun tell the story. After lots of laughs, Ten speaks. “I missed you guys.”

It made everyone stare at him. He continues. “I feel terribly bad about leaving you guys alone, and I feel really bad for making it seem like I don’t need you but it’s not true.”

“I terribly miss everyone, especially you.” He tells Kun.

Kun smiled at him. “I hope everything’s fine with you and Johnny.” He says and Ten nods.

“Speaking of that! We kind of hang out a lot since Sicheng’s friends went to Hong Kong for a vacation.” Ten excitedly shares and everyone just listens on whoever talks, plus the never ending fight.

Yangyang feels that he only needs to do one thing, and that is to sort his feelings out.

A hand slowly played with his, and he intertwines them, under the table. Yangyang needs to sort his feelings, but he knows that he’ll never be alone.

 

“So, what do you think should we be doing tonight?” Hendery asks, lying beside Yangyang. Yangyang stares at the ceiling of Hendery’s room. Yangyang often goes here and he is used on being in Hendery’s room. He’s just not used on the changes in actions.

“Stare at your ceiling, maybe.” Yangyang hums. Hendery just nods. He covers Yangyang a blanket and he hugs him tightly. Hendery hugs him a lot nowadays and Yangyang is getting used to it.

He used to hate it, but now he doesn’t. He’s getting used to it, but now he’s starting to like it.

“Goodnight?” He smiles.

“Yep.”

Yangyang is gradually learning and he likes it that way.

 

“Promise me you won’t actually ruin this trip?” Xiaojun teases Yukhei and the latter just chuckles at that. He shrugs, “Not sure. Maybe ask Ten if he has plans to.” Ten laughs at them, obviously that nothing’s gonna happen now.

Except getting happiness.

“Nope, I have plans on ditching you guys.” Ten replies while chewing on his chips. On the other hand, there is Hendery and Yangyang who were just talking about a certain book that they’ve both been into right now.

“Want a spoiler?” Yangyang asks while leaning his head on Hendery’s shoulder. The older shush him with his index finger and continues to read. Yangyang tried to distract him by grabbing the book and throwing the bookmark at the front.

Hendery sighs. “Okay, you have my attention now. What is it?”

Yangyang chuckles, why is this friend so easy to get?

“Give me a word that reminds you of the moon.” He dramatically says, and Hendery rolls his eyes. Ten on the middle part of the car covers his ears with a pillow. “Crap,” Ten curses.

Ten points at them right after. “Please don’t tell them that they won’t be gross if they become a couple.” He said with a disgusted face.

“Hendery will have no problem in that.” Xiaojun says, like it’s a fact. “Yangyang though, he’ll seriously become so cheesy. Disgusting.” He adds. Yangyang threw a pillow at him.

“Darn it, of course not!” He defended. “I’m not like you!” He rolls his eyes. Hendery just watched them bicker and Yangyang noticed it. He looked at Hendery with an eye smile.

Hendery just smiles at him. Yangyang suddenly asks. “You had three exes right?” Hendery nods. Yangyang suddenly stares at him and he wanted to meet Hendery’s exes and ask them how it feels to kiss him.

Hendery smiles at him. “Dunno what reminds me of the moon but the word that reminds me of the sun is you.” It made Yukhei throw the pillow back to him.

Kun chuckles and points them. “They’re disgustingly cute.”

Yangyang learns that you need so say some sweet words when falling in love, thanks to Hendery.

 

He enjoys riding random rides in this trip. Hong Kong is one of the places that Yangyang wants to go to with his friends and dreams come true. It was also a dream come true to Yukhei and he got to bring Kun and the rest of them in his hometown.

Yangyang pulled his luggage into his and Hendery’s room. He insisted to room with Hendery this time, not because Hendery will sulk but because he just wants to room with him. It’s his want and he feels happy to get it.

Hendery lies down on his bed and Yangyang learned this from him, he lies beside him and hugs him tightly.

Right, he learned about giving affection is what you should do when you’re in love.

 

“Guys!” Sicheng yelled from the kitchen, he was laughing when he called all of them. He spoke again. “I never knew Ten would ditch us for real! Look at him running!” He can’t stop laughing as he points Ten on the outside.

Xiaojun rolled his eyes. “You disturbed my sleep for this?” He sarcastically added, Sicheng frowned at that.

“That’s not the point!” Sicheng argued and Xiaojun fought with him. Hendery followed Ten and Yangyang after. They saw Ten with someone taller than all of them. Yangyang haven’t seen him before and now he’s curious.

“I’m Johnny.” The guy introduces in Chinese which surprised both Yangyang and Hendery. “Ten’s soon…” Yangyang said and smiles at the guy. He was impressed by the guy’s Chinese skills and because of that, he pulled the two couple inside Yukhei’s living room, surprising Yukhei too.

“Johnny? Johnny Seo, the model? Nice to meet you!” Yukhei excitedly hand shakes with him, Kun follows.

Yangyang thinks that time doesn’t really matter when you fall in love.

 

“Do you think Hendery waited enough?” Yangyang asks Sicheng in the midnight when the older is making a snack for himself. Sicheng shrugs. “Dunno, my boyfriend waited a year until we got together.” Yangyang’s eyes widen in surprise.

“A year? Crap, you’re amazing.” Yangyang says. Sicheng just smiles at him. “We weren’t friends for a long time before feelings get involve. Again, we’re different from you and Hendery.”

“I had trust issues, and you trust Hendery, you don’t trust yourself enough.” Sicheng adds and Yangyang hums in agreement.

In that night, he wakes Hendery up.

 

* * *

 

Hendery rubs his eyes as they walked into Yukhei’s terrace to talk. Yangyang feels sorry but he couldn’t wait for tomorrow anymore where he’ll lose his courage to talk about their situation. Yangyang inhales as he starts.

“You remember that one day in the beach?” Yangyang says, earning a nod from Hendery.

“You were there, you heard everything.” Hendery remained confused as why in the middle of the night, they’ll talk about this but because it’s Yangyang, then sure.

“Xiaojun’s not lying, I don’t want to make you anxious, and feel unsure of me- and yeah, what he was saying is true.” Hendery’s eyebrows raised at that as he chuckled lowly, and he looked at Yangyang with a teasing face.

“What about it?” Hendery wants to laugh at Yangyang’s panicked face. He knows Yangyang the most among them. Sometimes the person who’s the most closest to you is the one who makes you uncomfortable too.

Yangyang couldn’t even look at him. “You know what I’m talking about?” He asked, obviously pissed now.

Hendery chuckled at that. “Look at me?”

Yangyang looked.

“You don’t even have to say it, say it when you’re ready, not when you think you are…” Hendery shaked his head.

Yangyang also shaked his head, and stared at him. He gave his best smile and Hendery melts at that. “I like you.”

“I’m not saying that because I pity you, I just want to be with you now, you know? Don’t look at me like that…” Yangyang rolled his eyes, and Hendery just hugs him tightly, wrapping his arms around the younger and caresses his hair. “Are you happy now?”

Hendery closes his eyes and nuzzles his face in Yangyang’s neck. “You seem so happy.”

Hendery finally answers back with, “Oh, baby, I’m more than that.”

Yangyang doesn't think now why Ten, Kun, Lucas, and Xiaojun all fell in love with their friends. He doesn't think now why they all can be selfish. They chose to become selfish for love. 

He chose to be selfish, for once too. Love is greater than everything, anyway.

 

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaa thank you so much for reading this fic ❤️ hope you enjoyed it :D
> 
>  
> 
> cc: baejinnie  
> twitter: renzeuni


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